11. You find your lost keys in it.
12. Animals mistake your face for their natural habitat.
13. Hipsters do not shun you for liking a song you heard on the radio.
14. Your dog is covered in beard hair.
15. Facial recognition software identifies you as Gandalf.
16. Your chin has requested legal counsel.
17. People assume you are either going to make them die laughing or just make them die.
18. From 50 feet away it looks like an enormous cat is sleeping on your face.
19. From 10 feet away people still aren't sure.
20. It's assumed you can build a log cabin with your "bear" hands.
21. You produced the album Licensed to Ill and Trans-Continental Hustle.
Thanks Beards Against Blood Cancer.