Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Friday, September 2, 2011

Badass One-Woman Version of Feel Good, Inc. By The Gorillaz

Created by Youtube user BehindThoseEyes13.

Here is the original track featuring De La Soul.

As far as covers go, I'd say BehindThoseEyes13 did a rather respectful job, considering what could have happened.  For example, perky pop star Hillary Duff decided to go all non-conformity and show her self-destructive teen angst side at a concert in 2003 with her cover of the classic Who anthem "My Generation."  The problem with the cover was that she was and still is a terrible human being and moreover an awful entertainer.  How could anyone be so unjust to the greatest rock and roll band ever? Here's the proof.  Don't even watch it, just trust me.

This is how the song is supposed to be played:

No contest.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011


The Sand Cat, native to hot, dry areas, even too extreme for the African Wildcat, has become almost extinct in many areas in which it was once common.  Recently, due to the efforts of the Zookeepers at Israel's Safari Zoo, a new Sand Cat has been bred in captivity.

Hullo, I'm endangered. (of being too cute!, but seriously, there aren't many of us left)

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Boxing A Bear

Before WWE or WCW the only entertainment in fighting was bear boxing.  At the time, few knew the fights were fixed and semi-choreographed.  Here's an example from a fight between boxer Gus Waldorf and Mr. Bear.  In this fight, it's Mr. Bear's turn to win:

"Alright let me get my balance here. Wait, hey don't start yet."

"Alright, I'm up on two legs, check it out Gus.  Ow! Careful,
you're going to crack my sternum dude. Cripes!"

"Oof, take your time, sit down and catch your breath. 
I'm sweating my balls off over here."

"Why are you hitting yourself!? Ha, psych! Just messin'
with you.  We're cool bro."

"Okay, here I come with the finishing blow. Make it look real." 

"Crap, Dude, are you okay? Sorry."

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Friday, June 10, 2011

It's Hot As Shih-Tzu's In Salem

Though dogs do have sweat glands, they don't sweat much.  Thermoregulation takes place by panting when saliva evaporates from the tongue cooling the blood.  When that doesn't do the job, they do this:

Via Buzzfeed.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Awesome Playable/Recordable Google Guitar Logo Today

A Google Doodle is an artistic version of the Google logo usually posted to commemorate a holiday or an important event.  It started on August 30, 1998 with the Burning Man Festival as a way for Google's founders to notify user's of their absence in case the servers went down.

Over the years it has become a regular occurrance and a team of designers has been busy designing over 300 designs for in the US and over 700 internationally.

Some of the designs have been very unique, like the playable Pacman game to celebrate the anniversary of Pacman.  But today's is the best I've seen.  Today's Google Doodle commemorates Les Paul's birthday.  It's a playable guitar that lets you record for 30 seconds and leaves you a unique link so you can keep your recording.  Though, for some reason everything you play on it sounds like crappy indie hipster music. (see True Story...

Here's mine:  ...move over Death Cab for Cutie.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

True Story...

Thank you Huffington Post.

The Alec Baldwin - John Krasinski Rivalry

Baldwin, born in Massapequa, NY and Krasinski a native of Newton, MA bring the Redsox-Yankees rivalry to a new level in the following commercials.

You will be dead in October!

Get your face fixed.

That was not easy.

Monday, June 6, 2011


This is fantastic.  Rather than just admitting she made a mistake while referring to Paul Revere's history (while visiting Paul Revere's house with the media) in a brief interview, Sarah Palin defends herself on Fox News citing "gotcha" journalism. I love how Chris Wallace laughs in her face at the end.

In a ridiculous attempt to change history in Palin's favor, her brilliant supporters took to Paul Revere's Wikipedia page to make revisions. (Wikipedia revision history)

This is quite sad but it is a glimpse of the future.  Soon America will have an illiterate former beauty queen as its president.  Thank goodness she has such a close relationship with Russia.  I'm sure all of that foreign relations experience will get the US economy back on track...   I for one, will welcome a new simpleton as president and her patriotic stance to acheive such new and exciting things as "securing our freedoms" and "warnin' us with bells" if anybody is planning on "takin' away our arms."  I sure as hell don't want anybody takin' my arms or my legs for that matter.

Friday, June 3, 2011

JEOPARDY ANSWER: Something The Unindustrious Person Irrefutably Develops In Their Years



S  omething
T  he
U  nindustrious
P  erson
I   rrefutably
D evelops
I   n
T  heir
Y ears

Thanks again to the Confederate Flag flying shitheads who actualize this heinous affront to the American political system. 

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Promote This Man Immediately

This guy is selling silk sarees.  I had to watch it a couple times; he's very quick. Mad retail clerk skills ya'll! 

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Killer Kitties

Everyone knows the Sopranos and the Corleones, but did you know there are cat mafia families too?  The cosa nostra of the feline world is run by a close knit team of confident cats that will not take no for an answer. They have no problem letting you sleep with the fishes.  Though, more often than not, they would rather be the ones sleeping next to fish.

The Felingo Family: Run by Fernando Felingo, the capifamiglia, Fernando and family
have been controlling the catnip smuggling trade in the Northeast for the last 20 years.
Ox: Sniffer; he tests the goods and secures overseas shipments.
Skinny Joe: Veteran member and "Disposal" Expert
Smart Guy Dom - Dominick Weiss: Family lawyer and consigliere.
Crazy Eyes Pete: Instigator and message sender.
Anthony "Tony Tunacans" Gigante: Underboss
Red Salerno and the Prosciutto Boys before the 1999 Floating Feather Massacre.
Vinny Two Eyes: Monitors "situations."
Freddie "Fancy Feast" Furino: Known for never leaving a crumb of evidence.
Greasy Nose - Jake Basciano: Local hooligan in the know.  Provides
the family with useful information for a couple of bones.

Thanks to Dark Roasted Blend for the pictures.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Lords of Salem Filming Update

Here's a new article in which Rob Zombie talks about filming a Woolite commercial and returning to Massachusetts to film Lords of Salem at the end of the summer.
"'s a very unique-looking town when it comes to the architecture of the buildings and the streets. I had kind of forgotten... I went back [to Salem] recently to do some scouting. I forgot how interesting the houses and the buildings were. It's very cinematic. It's a great back backdrop for something like this."       --Robert Bartleh Cummings Zombie
Anyway, IM Global Films recently released a synopsis of Lords of Salem and it goes like this:
     Heidi, a blonde rock chick, DJs at a local radio station, and together with the two Hermans (Whitey and Munster) forms part of the “Big H Radio Team”. 
     A mysterious wooden box containing a vinyl record arrives for Heidi, “a gift from the Lords”. She assumes it’s a rock band on a mission to spread their word. As Heidi and Whitey play the Lords’ record, it starts to play backwards, and Heidi experiences a flashback to a past trauma. 
     Later Whitey plays the Lords’ record, dubbing them the Lords of Salem, and to his surprise, the record plays normally and is a massive hit with listeners.
     The arrival of another wooden box from the Lords presents the Big H Team with free tickets, posters and records to host a gig in Salem. Soon Heidi and her cohorts find that the gig is far from the rock spectacle they’re expecting: the original Lords of Salem are returning, and they’re out for BLOOD.
According to the article, the film will be very "effects-heavy."  So the pre-production in the effects department has been working diligently on some disgusting masks and bodyparts no doubt.  Exciting!

Here are some pictures of the guys at Wayne Toth FX working on some props for the film.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Sad Looking Marsupial

This is a Southern Hairy Nosed Wombat.  Despite their despondent appearance they are known as highly social wombats, residing in groups of 6 to 10 in a single burrow system.  The burrow system is critical to their survival.  According to wikipedia:
"To avoid predators, it runs into its burrow.  If followed, it can crush the predator against the tunnel wall using its backside."
Sounds awesome.

Mmmm, native grasses. 

Hullo! We're being social!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Best Dad Ever

I read a few articles this morning that made me really dislike humans.  But then I saw this guy was on twitter with the screen name DadBoner and my faith in humanity returned.  I hope it's a real guy, 'cause he's awesome.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Awesome Dinosaur Costume Terrorizes Children

Wave Goodbye To Any Happy Childhood Memories

This clip is from 'The Orson Welles Show," an unaired talk show pilot.  In the clip, Orson Welles is interviewing creative geniuses Jim Henson and Frank Oz.  Welles' creepy, unorthodox, over the top dramatics places two of our favorite muppets in situations you'll never be able to unsee.  Enjoy!

I'm almost certain that the Kermit and Miss Piggy clips were not part of the original episode but they fit seemlessly into the dark, overscripted tapestry of the show.  So I guess we'll never know.

The episode also included an interview with Burt Reynolds and a segment in which Orson performs magic tricks with Angie Dickinson. Fascinating.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My Cousins

The Natural World: Year of the Cat - Boston Globe

No Surprises Here

Here is a map measuring the US Peace Index.  Blue is peaceful, red is less peaceful or just plain abhorent. I think I've spotted a distinct pattern. Can you see it too?

The US is ranked 85 of 149 nations in the Global Peace Index.  We have moved up 11 spots over the past 3 years.  The most peaceful nations are New Zealand, Iceland and Japan.  The least peaceful are Iraq, Somalia and Afghanistan.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Your Beard Is Too Big If...

11. You find your lost keys in it.
12. Animals mistake your face for their natural habitat.
13. Hipsters do not shun you for liking a song you heard on the radio.
14. Your dog is covered in beard hair.
15. Facial recognition software identifies you as Gandalf.
16. Your chin has requested legal counsel.
17. People assume you are either going to make them die laughing or just make them die.
18. From 50 feet away it looks like an enormous cat is sleeping on your face.
19. From 10 feet away people still aren't sure.
20. It's assumed you can build a log cabin with your "bear" hands.

Lords of Salem Update

Rob Zombie posted this on his blog promoting his next film Lords of Salem.  He says the image comes from a very painful scene.  Sounds scary but I'm usually not frightened by horror films.  Though, throw a couple of vacuums into the mix and I will freak out.  The vacuum being my natural enemy.

Anyway, according to an interview in Empire filming is supposed to start in Salem, MA around April, 18.  That's Boston Marathon day for all the idiots who run.  Good luck dummies.

The rumor is that the film will start with a prologue set in the year 1692.  Then they will jump to present day and stuff starts to get weird.  Awesome, I'm so psyched I feel like rolling around on the floor and exposing my belly!


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Exemplary Safety Record

Transocean is the drilling firm that operated the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico.  It exploded last year killing 11 workers.  Then it dumped an estimated 250,000,000 gallons of oil into the ocean, damaging coastlines and killing thousands of animals.  (conservative government reported estimate)

Looks safe enough.

So, what do you do when you are a multi-billion dollar company that's down in the dumps?  You start to focus on the positive.  It was one measly explosion.  That's right.  Compared to all the other stuff they do, one explosion is a pretty good average.  In fact, their yearly safety report said just that:
"Notwithstanding the tragic loss of life in the Gulf of Mexico, we achieved an exemplary statistical safety record as measured by our total recordable incident rate and total potential severity rate."
Referencing "potential severity" just means they are psyched not all of their oil rigs exploded.  They have 24 other ultra deep water rigs and the report says that those are great.  Going 24 for 25 is an awesome average.  Give it up for these all-stars.  With history re-written they are now free to give huge bonuses to it's executives for it's "best year" in safety.

Bill & Ted's Excellently Bogus Adventurous Journey?

Greetings my excellent friends.  Unless it's some kind of elaborate post April foolery, The Wyld Stallions: Ted "Theodore" Logan and Bill S. Preston Esq., have confirmed they are on board for like a 3rd totally gnarly to the max adventure film.  Actually, Alex Winter (Bill) never confirmed anything, but come on, is he doing anything?

"My career is in danger of flunking most heinously."

Most Excellent Scene from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure:

Guard: "Put them in the iron maiden."

Ted: "Iron maiden?"
Bill & Ted: "Excellent!" [air guitar]

Guard: "Execute them."

Bill & Ted: "Bogus."

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Unicorns Aren't Gay

Big Dummy

Ha, I love this.  Critics (including Palin) are bashing Tina Fey saying she unfairly exploited Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin by portraying her so well, many confused Fey with Palin.

Um, if people watching Saturday Night Live or Youtube clips confuse a talented commedienne with an American Vice Presidential candidate, the candidate is probably doing something wrong.  Let's recap her political career with some clips chosen randomly from youtube:

Et cetera...

I still don't understand why people think she is a real person, she does nothing for your species.  For one, she commands zero respect due to her lack of intelligence and she has no actual transferable skills that would help her run anything, never mind a country.  I mean, she thought looking out her window gave her experience in foreign policy and international relations.  When asked how she would handle the current hostilities in North and South Korea, she said, "But obviously, we've got to stand with our North Korean allies."  For those who don't know, North Korea is the "bad" one.  But a presidential candidate should know these small details. 

Anyway, I'm just a cat, what do I know.

Just remember, due to all of the states south of West Virginia, the person who said the following has an excellent chance of becoming the first female human president:
"What would your response be if I asked you to remove some books from the collection?"
-Sarah Palin inquiring with Wasilla librarian Mary Ellen Emmons about banning books right after Palin took office as Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, in 1996.
"I don't know if you're going to use the word 'terrorist' there." -Sarah Palin, asked if people who bomb abortion clinics are terrorists, NBC News interview, Oct. 23, 2008
"There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women." -Sarah Palin, misquoting former Secretary of State Madeline Albright, who said women should "help" other women," Carson, Caliif., Oct. 4, 2008
"Perhaps so." -Sarah Palin, when asked if we may need to go to war with Russia because of the Georgia crisis, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008
"A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made." -Sarah Palin, dismissing global warming as influenced by human activity, Aug. 2008
"I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." -Sarah Palin, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why as president she wouldn't be subjected to the same ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska, ABC News interview, July 7, 2009

Slowing down progress is bad enough; entering a second dark age might wipe us off the planet.  I wish cat's could vote.  Can New England please secede from the rest of the country?  California, you are on your own, you have Conan the Barbarian and Conan O'Brian.  That should be enough muscle and sarcasm to make it through.

If Your Friends Told You To Jump Off A Cliff, Would You?

Monday, April 4, 2011

Slow Death

Hipster Rock Concert People - It's Awesome Because It's Terrible

If you can't handle the whole clip, at least skip to 3:34 and learn about the new Ghost Rock genre.

Does anyone know when the band  'I Got Beat Up At My Cousin's Bar Mitzva By My Cousin Whose Bar Mitzva It Was' is touring?  Because, if they tour I don't want to listen to them anymore.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Have You Seen Me?


You may have seen this poster in the Salem area:

Brian Wilson's Beard

No, not the Brian Wilson who's loss of creative control of the Beach Boy's lead to a complete mental breakdown and schizophrenic behavior...

This Brian Wilson - closer for the San Francisco Giants, who among other things claims to be a certified ninja (something he learned in a dream) and was fined by Major League Baseball for wearing what he called "too much awesome on his feet."

Explore his beard here.